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what moments divine, what rapture serene
13 most recent entries

Date:2004-11-04 23:13
Mood: stressed

I've been so busy with...oh, homework and reading proofs of chapters for my father's book and play rehearsals that I think I'm losing my mind!
I can't wait to go home for the holidays. The thought of that is the only thing that's letting me keep my sanity.

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Date:2004-10-20 22:07
Mood: musical

Do you think there's any chance of them letting us keep the piano after we're done with the show? It's only that I'm going to miss it so so so much. I've been running through songs in almost all my free time; I'm sure the rest of Ravenclaw at large is so sick of hearing the same tunes over and over and over again.
I changed things up tonight -- I was playing some bits from the score of "Kiss Me Kate", which was fun. I'd love to do some sort of musical revue...wouldn't that be fun? I probably am the only person who thinks that that would be fun. Oh well.
I think my favourite song from Wizard is that incedental music during the poppy scene and the entrance to the Emerald City. It has, like, 50 million key changes so it's really hard --if it's this hard for me to play, I really hope the chorus-girls are spot on, it's hard to change keys so fast and well and in minor to boot - but it's going to sound so so wonderful when it all comes together.
Lisa! I'll be happy to practise with you any time you like. I'm easy to find -- usually at the piano.
Oh, I'm going to miss it so.

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Date:2004-10-14 20:06
Mood: happy

All-right, so apparently, one of my father's colleagues is retiring, and so he was clearing out his office and getting rid of all sorts of things. And my father took all of the history books that the professor was going to throw out and he sent a couple of them to me already and I can have the rest when I go home for Christmas holidays. This was very very good news - almost exciting enough to blot out that whole Voldemort-scare-business in the Prophet today.

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Date:2004-10-02 21:57
Mood: annoyed

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head, for no apparent reason, and then it absolutely won't go away no matter what you do? I woke up this morning with "Night and Day" just...stuck and no matter what I do I can't stop singing it in the back of my head. Some people say singing it aloud helps, but my singing voice is awful, and anyway, I'm not about to go around singing show-tunes.
That just isn't a smart idea.

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Date:2004-09-28 10:35
Mood: awkward

It was a bit awkward, wasn't it? That Muggle Studies course, that is. I mean, honestly...I think they underestimated our intelligence, just a bit. My mum and dad had That Talk with me ages ago, and again when I was older. I thought that time Mum had Uncle Kevin 'round for dinner was bad, because he had his own version of That Talk that he wanted to share and was going on and on with advice and being careful and contreception and pamphlets and stories about friends who had died and always use protection and you're old enough now and wouldn't want you taken advantage of and don't do anything you're not comfortable with and on and on and on. That was humiliating, because mum and dad hovered 'round in the background and I couldn't ask any useful questions. But that was still better than having it as a classroom lecture, I mean, honestly.
Everyone's been flustered lately. And giggly. No-one will ever be able to take Muggle Studies seriously ever again, I fear.
...but did they before?

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Date:2004-09-25 19:20
Mood: moody

I got an owl from mum this morning. It was very good to hear that they were all-right; I wasn't that worried because, well, we don't live in London and that's where the attacks were. But the irrational part of my brain was going haywire, thinking about how if there were attacks in London there might have been other people or other creatures doing similar things in other places. But nothing's gone wrong at home; the attacks weren't even very publicised there, apparently. Father's working on his newest book [a biography this time, on King Frederick the Great of Prussia]. He needs to go out-of-town and do some research in libraries in Austria and Germany, but he doesn't want to leave Mum at home on her own, so they're waiting until she can go too. Mum's still giving piano lessons and they've a recital coming up and...their lives are all just so normal.
I wish my life were normal, sometimes.
I want to go home and sleep in my own bed and give piano lessons and go rummage through books and notes in Austrian libraries.
But...I'm a wizard for a reason, I have to stay here and go to class and learn things [when I can make myself pay attention, which lately is less-often than not] and pretend to be strong and brave and nonsense.

What it all comes down to is that my life is fundamentally rubbish, and I'm the most rubbish thing in it.

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Date:2004-09-23 16:01
Mood: random

The Halloween feast wasn't that bad, certainly. It was better than I expected. I mean, my costume was really a disaster, I don't know what I was thinking. It was probably the most muggle-esque thing of all, but...oh, I don't know. I got to see Lisa there, and her costume was lovely and she's very sweet and nice to talk to.
I also managed to slip out before I had to dance or anything, which was a blessing, because I'm possibly the worst dancer there is. So much for being the next Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire.

I've been falling asleep all day, and I actually lost track of the lecture in history today, which almost-never happens, because history is my favourite. I had to daydream in order to stay awake, or something. So if anyone from my class has good notes from today's history of magic and would be willing to let me copy them? I'd really very much appreciate it.

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Date:2004-09-18 14:46
Mood: tired

I'm quite relieved that the play's being postponed, honestly. It takes quite a bit of time for things like this to come together and everything and we really could use more time.

...I have to admit, however, that I'm not very happy with the thought of an in-costume Halloween feast. I don't really like parties and things like that and there's going to be so many people and you're supposed to go in costume and I don't know what to dress up as or anything. Everything I can think of is all too muggle, really and...bother.

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Date:2004-09-13 19:56
Mood: busy

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written last. I blame it on a combination of things -- the fact that I've been so buried under homework that I haven't had a chance to do anything interesting to write about seems to be the best reasoning, really.

It will be very exciting once the play gets started, won't it? I think it will; I'm going to have lots of fun helping the musical-director out.

I've still been having strange dreams - not very very strange, just peculiar. I think I find them so strange because I've been making a conscious effort to remember them and normally I just forget them.

I really hope that everyone who is ill is feeling better soon and also that I don't get ill because that would be horrible.

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Date:2004-08-31 16:11
Mood: tired

Dreams are funny things, aren't they?

Last night I dreamed that Monty -- the man with the beard from Yale from the film "Night and Day" [although I doubt that any of you have seen this film, so I don't know why I bother bringing it up] was coming to Hogwarts to be our new headmaster, only he kept talking about Yale and about theatre productions and everyone was confused. And then I had to go home on the Knight Bus for some reason or another and I remember being upset because I wanted to stay for the feast for Monty. The bus-ride was very bumpy and unpleasant except maybe the part when I ended up falling into the lap of some blue-eyed man, because he had a nice smile and told me not to apologize and then when it was over, I went to my house but no one was home. There was a pot of soup boiling over on the stove, though, so I went and turned the stove off. I could hear a dog whining, and so I went outside to look for it, and then all of a sudden I was waiting in a queue at a news-stand and everyone was watching a giant television screen with a news scrawl, only it was written in Sanskrit or something and I couldn't read it. Oh, and the dog was still whining. I bought a newspaper, but it was in Sanskrit too - and maybe I was in India, or something? I was very confused, because I didn't know what was going on and the dog was still whining, but I couldn't ever find it. Poor puppy.

I woke up at about five in the morning and I didn't want to go to sleep, so I sat in bed and read part of this really big history book my father sent me. It's all about the Congress of Vienna, the key players in it, and Napoleon and everything. It's really very interesting. Unfortunately, I'm rather tired now...it's been a long day, and I really hope I don't have any nonsensical dreams tonight!

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Date:2004-08-27 12:18
Mood: drained

I got a letter from my mum this morning. It was really very chatty -- all about the recital some of her students gave, about how father's almost finished with his book, about canning vegetables and going to the cinema. It was refreshing, it was like...I don't know, a little slice of normalcy (--is that even a word, normalcy? I must look that up) in the middle of everything else that doesn't make any sense.
If I thought too hard about that, I'd find it troubling and ironic.
So I won't.
She also sent me a chapstick, a pair of hand-knit socks, a piece of sheet music, and a picture of me that one of the little girls I taught piano to over the summer drew. She is about seven. It's not a bad likeness, really, even if I am represented all in pink and purple and my hair is absolutely everywhere. I'd pin it up in the dormitory, but I think some of my room-mates would mock me. So I'll refrain.

I can't decide if it's strange or comforting to pretend that things are just the same.

Regardless, I think I'm going to stop thinking all-together, and do some homework.

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Date:2004-08-24 16:15
Mood: shocked

It's strange isn't it? Life, I mean.
Like, you're going about your business and you're thinking about such useless things. You're walking to class and you've got a song stuck in your head, "Begin the Beguine" or something and you're concentrating on getting it out of your head. And you're thinking about...oh, trivial things. Like whether or not you've gotten all of your homework done and if there's any exams coming up you should be revising for, and you're wondering what they're going to serve at lunch later and part of the back of your mind is occupied in thinking about the school play and wondering if your mum has the sheet music for "The Wizard of Oz" at home.
And then you hear people talking in the halls, and you stop to wonder what's going on. And then you look out the window and you see it -- the Dark Mark, that is -- and all of a sudden all the little trivial things that have been bouncing about in the back of your brain seem so entirely insignificant that there isn't room for them anymore, because you're snapped back to the present, here and now and reality and you wonder why you were even so concerned about any of it at all.

This is how today has been.
"Begin the Beguine" is still in my head, and if that's not ironic? I don't know what is.

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Date:2004-08-22 11:18


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